People have dreams. Children have dreams. Dreams of what and/or who they would like to become one day.
Once upon a
time, I had a dream. I wished I would become powerful one day.... a superhero.
By then I did not know that power can come in different ways. I did not know
that I might one day be someone's superhero just by making sure they had a roof
over their head, food to eat, clothing etc, etc, etc... I did not know that I do
not need to wear a cap and fly across the sky to be a superhero. I was just a
child with a dream. Today I can proudly say I have lived to see some of my
dreams come true, or at least I have tried to make them happen. It is because I
was given a chance to live a childhood, to become a young adult and finally an
adult. My childhood was not taken away from me.
When I grow
up I want to be a pilot....when I grow up, I want to be a soldier....when I
grow up I will be a famous singer...I will be a movie star.....I will be a
teacher...a president....an inventor....these are voices of children who once
dared to dream. Unfortunately, their dreams were snatched away from them, their
dreams were dismissed, their dreams never got validated. They suddenly stopped
being 'children' and became someone's wife, then someone's mother, then
someone's in law and someone's something at a tender age. They became many
other things except a child.
In most
countries children (below the age of 18) are not allowed to get married by Law.
However, the same Laws give chances for children to get married with the
consent of their parents;
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage
in the UK (England and Wales): 16 years (requires
parental consent for those under 18)
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in the US: Varies. In
24 of the States children can be married at 16 (most states require parental/judicial consent). In some states, the legal age is strictly 18, while in other states there is no minimum age. Nebraska and
Mississippi are stricter whereby in Nebraska one has to be over 19 and in
Mississippi over 21 years. (see Age
of marriage in the United States and Child
marriage in the United States)
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Canada; One must be
over 18 years of age; however, one can get married with parents consent
if one is over 16 years old but under 18 years.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Australia; one must
be at least 18 years of age. One can also get married if one is between 16 and 18 years old with a court's approval.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Japan: Male must be
18 years or older and the female must be 16 years or older. (Parental
consent is required for any party under the age of 20 years)
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in India: 18 years for
females and 21 for males. However, it is common for girls to be married at
15 years.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in South Africa
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Tanzania: Girls can
be married ant 15 and/or 14 with parental consent. Furthermore ethnic
groups are allowed to make decisions according to their customs/
traditions.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Central African
Republic: 18 years without parental consent. Girls can get married below the age of 18 with parental consent. (CAR is considered to have the second
highest prevalence rate of child marriages)
While age
has been explained as a factor for early forced marriages in most of the
developing countries, It should be noted that there are some developed
countries which have almost the same legal minimum age to enter marriage but
early-forced marriages is not a problem. More young girls are married off at a
very young age in developing countries not only because the Laws give a room
for parents to marry off their children, but also due to poverty (bride price),
gender norms and power dynamics, beliefs, as well as armed conflicts. Sub
Saharan Africa and South Asia have the highest rate of early forced marriages.
Why is
Early- Forced Marriage a Problem?
It is
FORCED!!! A child in such cases does not have a choice over
who they are getting married to, or even when they should get married to. The
rights of the child are not considered here. Article 12 of the UNCRC gives
children the right to express their views and make decisions on matters
concerning them, however, their views are not listened to and instead, they are
forcefully married
Children
have a right to being taken care of by their parent's, being protected from
violence. Children need parental guidance and support, they need their
parents to nurture them and raise them, Articles 5 and 18 of the UNCRC protect
gives children these rights, thus forcing children to get married is also a
violation of these rights.
Furthermore,
most victims of early forced marriages are not given a chance to GO TO
SCHOOL, TO FINISH SCHOOL. Once they get married off its is expected of them to
bear children, take care of their families. Going to school is not expected of
them. All children have the right to education (UNCRC Article 28), a right
taken away from them when they are forced to marry as children.
The best interest of the child? The
UNCRC protects children from any actions or decisions that are not in the best
interest of the child (Article 3) and protects children from all forms of
violence (Article 19). Early forced marriage is known to perpetuate early child
pregnancies which might come with other complications especially if the
bride child is very young. Early marriages also increase the probability
of the child being subjected to violence and abuse (including
emotional, sexual, physical abuse), exploitation and neglect from their spouse who in most cases is older than them, exposure to a greater risk of
contracting HIV/AIDS and other STDs/STIs it is therefore
clearly not a decision that is in the best interest of the child.
A child has
a right to a CHILDHOOD. Forced marriages take away children's CHILDHOOD. That
thirteen-year-old girl who cannot sit with her teenage friends and talk and
laugh and have fun because now she has a husband, a household, children, bigger
responsibilities. That 9-year-old who cannot go out and play dodge-ball with
her age-mates because she is suddenly a wife.
It takes
away a child's DREAM. Remember the 10-year-old girl who said she
wanted to be a nurse when she grew up? Or the 15-year-old girls who aspired to
be a model and had dreams of making it big? What about the 16 year old who
thought she would own her own restaurant...oh yes and the little teacher, this
one used to teach her friends Math, and believed she will one day be a teacher
at the university up the hills...she only saw it from afar and longed to go
there one day. The day never came. They woke up one day and they were
somebody's child-bride, somebody's wife, somebody's mother, somebody's in law.
Just not 'the somebody' they wanted to be.
Today I sit
back and realize that I actually still have a chance of becoming someone else's
superhero. I do not have a cap and I cannot fly, but I have a VOICE.
GIRLS
NOT BRIDES
LET
THEM DECIDE WHEN TO GET MARRIED
I
WILL MARRY WHEN I WANT TO…
NOT
WHEN YOU TELL ME TO
Esl
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