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Friday, May 10, 2019
Friday, May 3, 2019
Early and Forced Child Marriages
People have dreams. Children have dreams. Dreams of what and/or who they would like to become one day.
Once upon a
time, I had a dream. I wished I would become powerful one day.... a superhero.
By then I did not know that power can come in different ways. I did not know
that I might one day be someone's superhero just by making sure they had a roof
over their head, food to eat, clothing etc, etc, etc... I did not know that I do
not need to wear a cap and fly across the sky to be a superhero. I was just a
child with a dream. Today I can proudly say I have lived to see some of my
dreams come true, or at least I have tried to make them happen. It is because I
was given a chance to live a childhood, to become a young adult and finally an
adult. My childhood was not taken away from me.
When I grow
up I want to be a pilot....when I grow up, I want to be a soldier....when I
grow up I will be a famous singer...I will be a movie star.....I will be a
teacher...a president....an inventor....these are voices of children who once
dared to dream. Unfortunately, their dreams were snatched away from them, their
dreams were dismissed, their dreams never got validated. They suddenly stopped
being 'children' and became someone's wife, then someone's mother, then
someone's in law and someone's something at a tender age. They became many
other things except a child.
In most
countries children (below the age of 18) are not allowed to get married by Law.
However, the same Laws give chances for children to get married with the
consent of their parents;
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage
in the UK (England and Wales): 16 years (requires
parental consent for those under 18)
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in the US: Varies. In
24 of the States children can be married at 16 (most states require parental/judicial consent). In some states, the legal age is strictly 18, while in other states there is no minimum age. Nebraska and
Mississippi are stricter whereby in Nebraska one has to be over 19 and in
Mississippi over 21 years. (see Age
of marriage in the United States and Child
marriage in the United States)
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Canada; One must be
over 18 years of age; however, one can get married with parents consent
if one is over 16 years old but under 18 years.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Australia; one must
be at least 18 years of age. One can also get married if one is between 16 and 18 years old with a court's approval.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Japan: Male must be
18 years or older and the female must be 16 years or older. (Parental
consent is required for any party under the age of 20 years)
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in India: 18 years for
females and 21 for males. However, it is common for girls to be married at
15 years.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in South Africa
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Tanzania: Girls can
be married ant 15 and/or 14 with parental consent. Furthermore ethnic
groups are allowed to make decisions according to their customs/
traditions.
- The legal minimum age to enter into marriage in Central African
Republic: 18 years without parental consent. Girls can get married below the age of 18 with parental consent. (CAR is considered to have the second
highest prevalence rate of child marriages)
While age
has been explained as a factor for early forced marriages in most of the
developing countries, It should be noted that there are some developed
countries which have almost the same legal minimum age to enter marriage but
early-forced marriages is not a problem. More young girls are married off at a
very young age in developing countries not only because the Laws give a room
for parents to marry off their children, but also due to poverty (bride price),
gender norms and power dynamics, beliefs, as well as armed conflicts. Sub
Saharan Africa and South Asia have the highest rate of early forced marriages.
Why is
Early- Forced Marriage a Problem?
It is
FORCED!!! A child in such cases does not have a choice over
who they are getting married to, or even when they should get married to. The
rights of the child are not considered here. Article 12 of the UNCRC gives
children the right to express their views and make decisions on matters
concerning them, however, their views are not listened to and instead, they are
forcefully married
Children
have a right to being taken care of by their parent's, being protected from
violence. Children need parental guidance and support, they need their
parents to nurture them and raise them, Articles 5 and 18 of the UNCRC protect
gives children these rights, thus forcing children to get married is also a
violation of these rights.
Furthermore,
most victims of early forced marriages are not given a chance to GO TO
SCHOOL, TO FINISH SCHOOL. Once they get married off its is expected of them to
bear children, take care of their families. Going to school is not expected of
them. All children have the right to education (UNCRC Article 28), a right
taken away from them when they are forced to marry as children.
The best interest of the child? The
UNCRC protects children from any actions or decisions that are not in the best
interest of the child (Article 3) and protects children from all forms of
violence (Article 19). Early forced marriage is known to perpetuate early child
pregnancies which might come with other complications especially if the
bride child is very young. Early marriages also increase the probability
of the child being subjected to violence and abuse (including
emotional, sexual, physical abuse), exploitation and neglect from their spouse who in most cases is older than them, exposure to a greater risk of
contracting HIV/AIDS and other STDs/STIs it is therefore
clearly not a decision that is in the best interest of the child.
A child has
a right to a CHILDHOOD. Forced marriages take away children's CHILDHOOD. That
thirteen-year-old girl who cannot sit with her teenage friends and talk and
laugh and have fun because now she has a husband, a household, children, bigger
responsibilities. That 9-year-old who cannot go out and play dodge-ball with
her age-mates because she is suddenly a wife.
It takes
away a child's DREAM. Remember the 10-year-old girl who said she
wanted to be a nurse when she grew up? Or the 15-year-old girls who aspired to
be a model and had dreams of making it big? What about the 16 year old who
thought she would own her own restaurant...oh yes and the little teacher, this
one used to teach her friends Math, and believed she will one day be a teacher
at the university up the hills...she only saw it from afar and longed to go
there one day. The day never came. They woke up one day and they were
somebody's child-bride, somebody's wife, somebody's mother, somebody's in law.
Just not 'the somebody' they wanted to be.
Today I sit
back and realize that I actually still have a chance of becoming someone else's
superhero. I do not have a cap and I cannot fly, but I have a VOICE.
GIRLS
NOT BRIDES
LET
THEM DECIDE WHEN TO GET MARRIED
I
WILL MARRY WHEN I WANT TO…
NOT
WHEN YOU TELL ME TO
Esl
Friday, April 26, 2019
Violence Against Disabled Children Deprives them of a Childhood
I remember back in the days when I used to go play outside. Not just outside our house, but outside our neighborhood. I had many friends and life was fun. No one was afraid of going out and play. Parents were confident that their children were safe out there. And for that, we were left to be the little explorers that we needed to be. There were boundaries of course, there were curfews of course, but we had more freedom than our children today (sigh).
Just a couple of weeks ago I was chatting with my friends, remembering old times, etc, etc, etc. Then we looked at our children and the life we have created for them. The life society has created for them. The life filled with fear; fear of being kidnapped, trafficked, raped and even killed. Then we started talking about the killings of people with albinism around some African countries (including ours). We thought of the children who have been mutilated, slaughtered…killed…and the children who witnessed such violence against their family members/neighbors/friends. We thought of children who are in hiding because of violence against people with albinism. Children who were supposed to go to school, play, explore their world. How society is creating social barriers, that further excludes children with albinism from participating. It is saddening to see that instead of improving the already non-conducive-disabling-environment, we are making it worse. We have reached a point where one would easily and fearlessly slaughter a child…a disabled child…. a child with albinism, for their own personal gain. And disappear without a trace.
Parents of impaired children worry about how their child is treated by the society surrounding them. Will they be bullied, excluded and discriminated against? Will they be pitied because of their impairment? As a parent it is difficult to allow your child to go to school, to allow your child to play, to allow your child to just be a child, to walk the streets with your child, simply because they have albinism and you fear they might be the next victim. Have we reached a point where it is okay to strip a child of their childhood because of fear? What happened to the rights of a child? What happened to the rights of the impaired….the disabled
Most African countries in an effort to protect the rights of the child and the rights of persons with disabilities ratified and signed the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the Child (African countries) and the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disability. Several policies and Laws that protect the rights of children, as well as the rights of people with disabilities, have also been in various African nations. All these are commendable efforts. But is introducing and ratifying Policies, Laws and UN conventions enough? How do we ensure that we adhere to these National and International Instruments? How are these instruments implemented? How do we protect the rights of the child and disabled persons? For some time now we have heard about the killings of people with albinism. What has been done? How has ratifying International convection(s) helped us to stop such evils?
I have heard that people with Albinism are being slaughtered because of witchcraft, and/or ignorance. But I believe that they are being slaughtered because we have turned a blind eye to the villains. I again wonder if such villains would have disappeared easily if the victim was a child, sibling, spouse, or parent of someone of high caliber in the Government. How can we make children with Albinism feel safe and secure in their own societies?
The Africa that I envision is a continent where children and childhood matters, a place where all children enjoy their childhood and are not seen as ‘passive beings awaiting to become adults’. A place where those with impairments are not seen as Persons with Disabilities but Persons with Abilities because the social-environment support their limited capacities and empowers them, a place where we do not live with the fear of being slaughtered for witchcraft purposes!
Today it is those with albinism that are being killed, someday it will be anyone with any impairment. Then it will be anyone.
So, let us not keep a blind eye to such evils. Let us not be quiet. Let us voice up for the voiceless. Let us unveil the perpetrators. Let us put an end to the killing of albinos.
Esl
Human being or Becomings?
Every parent thinks about the kind of person their child will become in the future. Yes, we all think about it. However, thinking about it is one thing and Imposing these thoughts (or call them expectations) to our children is another. I once had a friend whose future path was already decided for by her parents. Her parents placed more importance on what she was supposed to become later and not what she was at the present. They wanted their baby girl to become a scientist, just like them...I remember this kid..she was rarely out of the house....she was busy studying science all the time? We had another mutual friend who was not allowed in the little scientist's house...this mutual friend was not very good in Math and she wanted to be a musician.....Of course, the little scientist's parents thought she was a bad influence on their little scientist in the making. Fast forward, the musician wanna-be is now our scientist...an engineer. And the little-scientist-in the making actually became an HR!
While thinking of the children as young-future-adults, parents forget that a child is first a child....and children like trying new things, they like to explore.
Seeing children as becoming means we see them as 'adults in the making'...the future adults... forcing us to neglect the realities of the present child...the being child. When we look at children as 'Being' it means we see them as social actors who can construct their own childhood.
We cannot Ignore our future expectations (for our children), but we should also not ignore the child in the present and the whole idea of childhood.
We should not focus only on what skills/abilities we need our future adults to have and forget that as children they also have abilities. As children they are, can be, and should be active agents.
Esl
Esl
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Child Marriage: A Global Problem Ignored for Too Long
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